Where the Pale Moon Glows
by Miao
Summary: In Lily's eyes, James Potter is two faced. One side arrogant and thick minded while the other caring and softhearted. Can James's gentle side stay put long to teach Lily how to be loved when she knows only how to love? Can he overcome his own depression?
1. Where the Pain Doth Grow

**   
  
-Where the Pale Moon Glows-  
  
Chapter one: Where the Pain Doth Grow  
  
By: Miao**  
  
Miao: Teehehehe giggle look at me - I'm writing a new story!!  
  
Miao's Serious Side: Why can you not take in the fact?. . .Your stories are not good. They're awful! They're horrid! They're a horrendous mess!  
  
Miao: Emmm Anywho! This is a Lily and James! My very first one! 0 Don't tell anyone!  
  
The Serious Side: -I wish I was elsewhere. I wish I was elsewhere. I wish I was elsewhere. I wish I was elsewhere. I wish I was elsewhere.  
  
Miao: Not gonna happen anytime sOOn! o  
  
The Serious Side: --;;;;  
  
Miao: This is my serious side She helps me...Sometimes...Not really...Acutally, not at all -.-; She's usually busy trying to open a random dairy or vedgetable products-  
  
The Serious Side: Tugging at Ketchup bottle Damn vile ketchup, I shall see you burn and desend into-  
  
Miao: --She's a bit cranky sometimes. So, don't come to close...She bites ;; Heh heh nervous laughter Really.  
  
Disclaimer: nOt Mine! Wait! Da story and da plot are mine! But the characters ain't!   
  
The Serious Side: --;  
  
Miao: YaY! This story is dedicated to Stephiane(Erg, I spelled it wrong) Reem and Bhavi! All whom erm...Just talked about Lily and James stories so much it made me queasy and made me wanna write a story!  
  
Also to LanLan! == Who needs a feel good fic.  
  
TheSerious Side: -- Did I ever tell you I hate you?  
  
Miao: - Evvvveryday!  
  
(==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-)  
  
The rains had arrived just in time to rescue London from a ghastly drought. At first, they were thought to be an answer to prayers, for the blades of grass before each suburben house lay wilting with a grave brown creeping up its delicate strands. But now, the rains were a plague. It seemed the whole world around the London residents had converted from a sweltering hell into a mammoth somber ocean in just one night. The streets were flooded to the stoops of apartments and no car dare rode through the narrow rivers that once were perfectly fine roads. So, locals were confined to their homes, unable to go to work or school, which unastonishingly no one minded. Not a person would be caught dead outside during these awful conditions...That's why it was very peculiar to find two girls struggling through the sheets of rain. Very peculair indeed.  
  
They were battling out the wind and rain and failing miserably. All they held as a weapon against Mother Nature was a mustard yellow umbrella, which apparently was not enough against this natural wrath.  
  
"Explain to me why again you never learned how to drive?" One hollered over the howling draft. Her cherry red hair was wafting violently in the vicious breeze and raindrops were stinging at her lustrous emerald eyes. The woman beside her glowered.  
  
"Shut up, freak!" She bellowed in rage, " you should just be happy I'm doing this for you!"  
  
"You're only doing this 'cause mum's giving you a twenty pound note afterwards!" The jade-eyed girl shrieked.  
  
"You damn right I am," the woman's sharp brown eye's then rested upon her dripping blonde pigtails," Ooh no!" she screeched," _My hair_! Oh my- is it ruined? Oh my- I-It's all your fault, Lily! I could be at home right now if you didn't have to go to that bloody school of yours! Why can't you just be normal?" She squawked, sounding miserable, cold and wet, all of which she was. Apparently, she was not a person you'd want to hang around during these conditions. In fact, she wasn't really a person you'd want to hang around at all.  
  
"Oh _please_, Petunia" the girl dubbed Lily asserted sardonically," I am normal. Completely normal in the wizarding world, that is. Huh, what? Don't like me saying wizarding, do you? My wizarding friends and me like the word wizarding a lot. I could say it all day, wizarding ,wizarding, wizarding..."  
  
The sharp-eyed woman flinched as if someone had pinched her on her rear.  
  
"Listen _brat_," Petunia hissed," I am your older sister and what I say goes. Don't dare say that word near me or so help me, I'll go home right now and leave you to the rain."  
  
Lily froze. She was bold, yes, but not stupid. Mentioning anything else would earn her a nice brisk stroll through the freezing rain. She would contract Pneumonia before even reaching upon the train station and would be dead and gone by the time she arrived at school. Her best bet was to keep her mouth shut. She only mumbled a few words under breath, but the roaring breeze heaved them blessedly away.  
  
And so on they skirmished the bleak wind and rain as the two girls trudged onwards towards King's Cross Train Station, where a prank awaited Lily, or so she thought.  
  
_'Boys can be so so_,'she skimmed her mind for a good word, yet not a one in her large vocabulary could describe them,'-_boyish sometimes. I swear, James and his crowd are going to loose all their house points this year if they dare as to set off one prank on me...Again_.'  
Her hand involuntarily slid into her jeans pocket and grazed the glossy Head Girl badge that hadn't left her side since it had arrived in her school letter. (Her mother had it framed at home)  
  
_'This year is going to be different_,' she thought with a since of dignity,' this year, I'm not taking anything off those boys without some major dents to not only their house points, but to those cocky self-esteems of theirs as well.'  
  
_Ooh, how we eat the words we say sometimes_.  
  
She emerged into the pleasantly dry station with thirty-and-a-half minutes to spare. Her grumbling sister concluded on lingering around until there was a halt in the rains. Although, she did not remain close to Lily, but yet, secluded herself to the other half of the station, leaving behind a trail of water dripping form those appalling pigtails.  
  
Lily shook her thick ruby hair and small water-droplets whizzed this way and that. She would dry off properly when she reached the train but for now this would do. And so she strode, dragging along her trunk behind her, through the barrier like usual with not even so much as a second glance. It got a little old about the 6th time.  
  
The fiery crimson train heaved a valiant hoot and a cloud of steam bailed out into the air. Lily did not dwindle with time and stay to behold this last glimpse of the train. She had seen it far to many times to really care anymore. Only one thought endured in her head and fueled her very breath at this moment; _the prank_.  
  
"What will it be this year, Potter," she grumbled as she ascended unto the train. She then hurled her trunk unto the creaky and unstable rack and hesitantly took a step into the corridor.  
  
Immediately, she snapped his eyes tightly shut and braced for impact. It was coming, she could feel it; the prank. What was is going to be this time? Dung bombs? Wet-Start Fireworks? A faulty charm? Ooze filled water balloons? Oh no- Not those again! It took her forever to clean that caked on slime out of her hair.  
  
"Well, common! Get on with it!" She declared, her voice bouncing off the deserted passage.  
  
No one replied.  
  
"Ooh, please! It's not like I wouldn't know about this childish prank!"  
  
Still, no one replied.  
  
She cracked open an eye, then another.  
  
"_What_?"  
  
This was to bewildering. James and Sirius's crude gang were supposed to be squatting in a compartment laughing hysterically at the agitated expression etched into Lily's face.  
  
But there was nothing there. Nothing but the stale air that stuck thickly to her throat.  
  
What if they were stalling? Like in her third when they bombarded her with twenty-eight hair dying charms? Her hair had flashed every color under the sun for the whole train ride and part of the while when the sorting hat sang its song. Of course no one had listened that year, for their attention was solely on Lily's colorful hair. She could have countered it easily, but they had caught her off guard.  
  
"So, going back to your primal tactics are we, Marauders? " She challenged, curling her hands into tremmering fists, "We'll I'll have you know, it won't work this time. I am a head girl now. I can take away house points just for you four even glancing at me. So, you best stay away or suffer my _consciences_."  
  
It was now beginning to become eerie. Her voice stood lonely in the barren corridor and just that fact caused the small hairs upon her neck to prickle. Where were they? They were supposed to have committed their vile sin by now!  
  
"Lily?"  
  
A mellow hand lightly rested upon her shoulder. Lily sprang into the air, clutching at her chest. This had definitely not been a good time for an ominous figure to creep up behind her.  
  
"Remus!" She hollered at the slouched boy grinning like the Cheshire cat, " you startled me!"  
  
Even though it had been several months since their last encounter, he seemed to have not changed at all. He appeared to be the same sickly and pale, simple Remus. His puerile cerulean eyes still possessed that solemnly exhausted appearance as if he was going to drop to the ground then and there. His hair seemed to tease him as usual, never quite attaining a true rich color, for; he was neither a brunette nor a blonde. His hair was plainly an un-dubbed pigment that could only be described as the same color of the sandy white beaches of northern England.  
  
"Now, now, Lily, we didn't mean to frighten you," he chuckled feebly," We were just curious as to who you were talking to."  
  
Lily peered around Remus's frail form to see who the other was in this 'We'. Much to her surprise, it was the watery eyed stout boy, Peter Pettigrew; Just Peter Pettigrew. Where was the rest of their childish posse? Sirius Black? James Potter? Where were those leaders of the tribe? They never left each others side as if they were stuck together with invisible glue, and yet, here were the only two members of the Marauders that Lily found to be almost standable.  
  
She had never quite consciously considered any of the Marauders true friends, but it seemed they had somehow formed a neutral relationship that had developed into some sort of a bond. Even though she, at times, simply detested the whole lot of them, they had proven to be a kind face among the roller coaster of life. But, if they weren't authoring her laugh, they were pulling a prank on someone. That someone, most every time, was herself.  
  
"I was talking to myself, thanks," she huffed, folding her arms," and just what are you doing without your other cronies? And where do they happen to be?"  
  
Suddenly, Peter appeared uncomfortable in his skin and Remus peered to the ground forlornly as a lasting flash of sorrow seeped into his eyes.  
  
"What?" The red head questioned impatiently. "Did you four have a dispute or something?" She tenderized her tone so she didn't seem quite as barbarous.  
  
"No, no!" Peter squeaked," Its not that--It's well-erm-Oww!"  
  
Remus nudged the pudgy boy sternly. He rubbed wildly at his arm but kept silent.  
  
"Okay, now I know something is wrong. You did have a brawl, didn't you? Was it Potter and Black versus you two?"  
  
"Uuh, we really have to be going, Lily. Great seeing you again! Congrats on Head Girl! Talk to you at school!" Remus sputtered all in one breath and then hurried away, with Peter waddling along at his side.  
  
" Now, what is up with those two?"  
  
She concluded upon locating the Head Girl and Boy compartment, which she found in no haste and slid open the door to find--  
  
"_J-James's-Sirius_?"  
  
The two dark haired boys sat adjacent to each other, with Sirius's burly hand rested gently upon his friend's knobby knee as if comforting him. James's face was directed solely at the window; not even the thud of the compartment door had fazed him. That tuff of unkempt ebony hair hid all facial emotions; therefore she could not read his face like always. It was quite clear, whatever was being discussed in this compartment before her rather rude interruption, would linger on the walls, like a fresh coat of paint.  
  
"I- erm- I'm sorry if disturbed something," Lily sputtered, walking forward into the compartment," I'll leave if you want me to-"  
  
"That won't be necessary, little Lily-kins," he taunted, arising from his most awkward possession," I was just leaving. I don't want to be in here during the train ride, with you two anyway. 'Might get my eyes scratched out and be blinded for life, and I do believe I need my precious eyesight to pass my courses this fine year."  
  
" You had eyesight before and you still couldn't pass," Lily retorted; her most prized quality emerging from it's dormant sleep: Smart-alecky wit," Besides, what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Sirius grinned. His smiles were almost inhuman. They seemed like a dog's, beaming at the satisfaction of it's thoughts being hidden, so not even their master could tell what devious prank the mutt had concocted.  
  
He, himself, almost manifested the appearance of a mongrel. His hair was a starless black and was always cut to his chin, although, not neatly. It was shaggy and jagged like a dog's mane. His eyes held this mischievous glint that all the marauders shared of course, though, none ever glittered as bright as his. His could only be compared to a puppy's, gazing at his owner's new leather shoes.  
  
"You and I both know quite well that you two can't stay in a room together without your face turning as red as your hair in anger. Anyways, I've got ta' split, Rosie's waiting for me next door. Just a whole cabin to ourselves...For an entire train ride...Doing things that'd make your grandmother blush and-"  
  
"That's quite enough." The red head hissed vehemently. What an egocentric womanizing moronic dolt he was! If he hadn't of left so swiftly afterwards, why, Lily would've been urged to clasp her hands tightly around his throat until he had gone cold and limp in her arms, even if he was more robust then she!  
  
But, suddenly, Lily beheld something like nothing she'd ever seen Black or Potter do in all her many years of knowing them. Well, actually, she had only seen them do it once before, but they were being threatened with expulsion then and not randomly chattering upon the train.  
  
Sirius Black leant forward and tenderly placed a softhearted hand upon his best friend's shoulder. His eyes were two pools of pure caring and concern for his friend, whose head now was bent forward slightly.  
  
"I'm here for you," he whispered plainly and left. Though the words were simple, they concealed more depth then any she'd ever felt. Even she, Lily, felt them vibrate dully upon the twittering chords of her heart.  
  
Lily's jaw was touching the floor as she gazed wildly into James's savage hair. He still hadn't looked up! Didn't he feel it too? She sat down in the same seat Sirius had been in, hoping for some sort of conversation or at least for him to greet her.  
  
After a few minutes of tedious silence, the crimson steam engine released a warning 'hoot' and the floor underneath her feet vibrated as the train began its lengthy journey to Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
She was begging to crack under the sinister quietness the room was instilled in. It was slowly ebbing into her mind and causing every small creak and thud to pulse through it freely. She was developing one whopping headache above it all. Something or someone had to say something, or she would go insane.  
  
"W-well, hey James-er- How are you?"  
  
It was quite a plain sentence that held no meaning to it whatsoever, but it had been known in the past to start the best of conversations and just maybe there it could have begun a delightfully pleasurable chat.  
  
"Hello Lily. I am fine, and yourself?" James replied, finally lifting his head. His hair seemed more of a tangled mess then usual yet his eyes still could be seen through it-but-Oh, his eyes!  
  
His eyes had almost resembled Sirius's in the past, sharing that same trademark sparkle all the Marauder's possessed; But now, they had seemed--empty. Blank. Void of all emotion. Her fondest-wait-her only fond memory of James Potter was back in her 3rd year, when she had fallen head over heels, for those glowing eyes of his.  
  
It had been a awfully humid June day, straight after finals, and Lily had found her a cool shady tree to hide her from the scorching sun that was bearing down the florid necks of all her other peers. She had been reading Shakespeare, her very favorite playwright, with one slender hand while the other had been clasped loosely around a juicy red apple, which was missing a few bites. James's strangled yelp had startled her and had induced her to drop her book to the bright green grass below. She was now compelled to gaze up into the chaos brewing next to the lake.  
  
Instantly, she understood what it was like to be lost in someone's eyes. She no longer knew where she was, or who she was looking at, only that their eyes were the most dazzling, exquisite beauties she had ever seen. They were like the sapphire glistening lake that day, dancing to the sun's aurous flaxen rays. She had become sickened when she had found it had been James Potter's eyes she had been longingly gaping into that day. Just because she had found herself ogling into his eyes meant nothing. It had not converted any sort of emotion she felt to this vile boy, but still, sometimes (mostly during Potions because it was dreadfully boring) she found herself gawking into his eyes. She was not in love with him, just his eyes.  
  
But something was terribly wrong. His eyes were barren and pained; full of nothing, but, somehow authoring an aura despair and pain. What had happened to those stunning orbs she had fallen for? What had tainted them over the summer?  
  
" You called me by my first name," She said, mocking shock." What a surprise this is."  
  
Lily wanted him to tease her, just for him taunt her. Even through she loathed it with a deep undying passion, she somewhere in her heart, felt a tinge of care towards this boy. She just wanted him to call her a name, just so she knew it he was okay.  
  
_'Come on, Potter_!' She thought frantically in her head,' _taunt me! Tease me! Throw some snide remark at me, then_!'  
  
"Why wouldn't I, Lily? After all, it is your name." He was grinning slightly which oddly clashed with those cheerless eyes.  
  
Completely outraged, she blurted out," Why didn't you pull one of your immature pranks on me, again? Is it coming? Is this my prank? Where is it?"  
  
She felt some kind of warm relief sweep through her at the sound of his chuckling. It was not the Potter laugh she knew and had grown to detest. Where his old snickering was loud, obnoxious, and compelled anyone around to cover his or her ears; this new laugh was quiet, deep, and rich. It was like something was rolling playfully deep in his throat. It melted away the protective barriers she had forged around her heart.  
  
"We're a bit to old for that, don't you think? Besides, just not a good time, don't you agree?"  
  
Something about his steely eyes told her he was not fibbing. He was foretelling the truth; there was no prank for Lily.  
  
" Not a good time never stopped you before," she said, "what has gotten into you?"  
  
"You mean--You don't know?"  
  
"What don't I know?"  
  
He stared at her for a moment with those ghostly gray eyes and then shook his head.  
  
"Nothing, sorry I brought it up."  
  
"No, tell me!" She hollered," What's wrong with you, Potter-I mean James?"  
  
" It's nothing, really Lily, it's nothing."  
  
Lily knew very well there was something. Something over the summer had caused his usual beastly voice to turn soft and delicate as a light summer breeze. Why was her heart fluttering with every breath she took? Was she actually enjoying a conversation with her advasary?  
  
"James," She pronounced after another silence. " The truth now, are you okay? You seem kind of--Off, you know? You can talk to me seeing as were both Head Boy and Girl."  
  
The ebony haired boy leaned forward and rested a tender hand upon her thigh. The simple touch hurled a chain of chill bumps up and down her arms...Why?  
  
"It's alright, Lily, I'm fine. Just a bit tired, that's all, just tired. Thank you through." His voice was so gentle, it singed through her head. Hesitantly she nodded and he took away his comforting hand. Where his fingers once were, now tingled and turned cold, coveting the warmth of his light touch.  
  
He continued to gander out the window half the train ride and Lily just stared. She was buried deep in her own thoughts.  
  
This was not the James Potter she had left a few months back at King's Cross who had been boasting about next year's plentiful pranks. This was not the James Potter that had 'accidentally' levitated Severus Snape and thrown him into the most abyssal part of the lake. This was not the James Potter that had destroyed Professor Mcgongal's classroom with just the wave of his wand (although that was amusing). This was not the James Potter of the past.  
  
She had always had a theory that he was two-faced. That truly there were to different Potter's. One, a pestering prat, the other a kind, caring, generous boy whom was always hauled into the corner while the other side was dominantly in control. She erected this theory on a foundation of the fact she'd seen this otherside once before. Only once mind you, maybe twice...  
  
It was last year, in fact, in the middle of a cool October night. The chilly draft leaked through the cracks in the windowpanes as Lily sat huddled in a sheer tweed blanket that bestowed no sense of heat. She had a gigantic essay due the next day in Advanced Potions on Personification potions. She had been hunched over the blank parchment for over two hours with nothing but a title sentence written in ink. In her frustration, she began to sob. Every tear caused her head to throb with more intensity. She was hopelessly weeping her eyes out.  
  
Until a voice became her savior. It cooed her with its soft tenor that made the delicate skin upon her neck tickle with delight. A softhearted hand rested upon her shivering shoulder, confronting her, this sobbing mess.  
  
"Lily, whatever is the matter?"  
  
It had not quite registered at that time it was childish James that honey sweet voice belonged to. She would have accepted it nonetheless.  
  
"I-I," She hiccupped pathetically," I-I can't finish this! I'm so t-tired. S-So, cold."  
  
"Why not start a fire? Sure that will warm you."  
  
James had trotted placidly to the fireplace, hauled out his slender wand, and conjured a spark that moments later was a roaring fire. Lily had felt that wonderful warmth splash over her icy limbs as well as that beautiful emotion that someone had cared for her.  
  
"Th-Thank you," She whispered in all the gratitude she could muster through her numb lips.  
  
"Now, on to that forsaken essay, eh?"  
  
It only took her one more hour on the paper with James's help of course. She was hurriedly scratching down sentences as soon as they left his mouth. Finished, she hurled away the quill, leapt up, and embraced James Potter with all her might.  
  
He had been so startled; he had only re-acted with a light pink tinting his cheeks. Then, after fully comprehending the sudden yet gracious action, he lightly stroked her back.  
  
That night, Lily had learned there were two Potter's. One, she found sweeter then a gentle kitten. The other, she only carried hatred for.  
  
She would have instantly fallen for James at that very moment if it hadn't have been for the next morning when she had been dounced in twelve and a half (Peter's had misfired and half was drenched upon him too) sludge filled balloons. It was only one of the Marauder's many many pranks where she was the innocent prey...Though, none ever made her cry like she had that awful day.  
  
She mentally shook herself. Where was she? Oh yes, the train; in the head boy and girl compartment; Adjacent to James.  
  
His lean fingers now cushioned his chin as he still gawked out the window. How long would he keep this up?  
  
"James, you're acting mighty strange."  
  
He kept his silence and his uncommon posture.  
  
"Fine, then!" She finally barked, becoming enraged by this simple act of quiet," If you won't talk to me or in fact, _acknowledge _my existence at all, I'll just sit here and read the Daily Prophet and pretend you're not here either."  
  
She burrowed through her shabby bag and hauled out a worn newspaper with the words " THE DAILY PROPHET" etched into the front page. She smoothed it out, still huffing, and began to scan the curly text.  
  
What she did not notice was James was now staring at her, horrified by this plain act; his eyes finally embracing an emotion, distress. He reacted so swiftly, that it took moments for Lily to blink and discern what had happened.  
  
He had snatched the haggard paper straight from her hands, leaving behind slender gashes, slowly dripping blood into her palms.  
  
"Hey! What was that for, you jerk!" She began sucking upon a particularly stinging finger.  
  
"I-I-" He licked his lips nervously," I don't think you should read it. A load of crack stories written by two obese men with no lives, if you ask me." He un-hatched the window and chunked the parchment out into a murky forest they were now passing.  
  
"I can't believe you! You're crazy, you know? You really are," she heaved furiously," besides, I'd already read it; Just bored out of my mind, watching you pout out that window."  
  
"Y-You have? Already?" His upright disposition faltered and he went crashing back to his seat, head in hands.  
  
"Yes! I did! It had nothing important in it, really. Just some articles on faulty wands, the bathing habits of garden gnomes, You-Know- Who's latest victims-"  
  
"R-Really now? What did it say, then?" James sputtered; his mouth twitching slightly.  
  
"Which one? The bathing habits of a ordinary garden gnome was surprisingly interesting, or You-Know-Who's current murder, quite the tear- jerker-"  
  
"That one!" He yelled suddenly," th-the one with You-Know-Who and all."  
  
"Oh, that one's quite sad, it is. Wouldn't you rather hear about the garden gnomes? Did you know that-"  
  
"No! Tell me about the one with Y-You-know-who!"  
  
"Well, it wasn't a pretty article, I mean--It was just dreadful what happened to a father and daughter. It was going to be her first year at Hogwarts, it was. So, apparently they'd gone shopping in Diagon Alley for all the normal necessities and met up with a nasty bunch of death eaters on the way home. So, the father right, pushes his little girl away, draws his wand, and tells her to high-tale it, you know? So, she runs away and he's all alone against six or seven death eaters. She wouldn't have been much help, mind you, but anyway. So, he takes down two of them, but the other three get him from behind. Then they go after his daughter and-"  
  
"Stop! Stop!" He clutched at his night dark hair," I didn't need the details, woman, I already _know_ them! I just was wondering if--If there were any names mentioned, that's all."  
  
"How dare you call me a _woman_! I am Lily Elizabeth Evans. I have and was bestowed a name when I was born. I am not just woman, Potter." She said, creeping closer and closer to James's pale face until she was inches from his nose, glaring malignantly into those stone gray eyes. The ebony haired boy's breath became ragged at the sudden nearness of her ruby soft lips.  
  
"That's what you are, aren't you?" He whispered indifferently.  
  
In the blink of an eye, he had his hand fastened upon his cheek where a large florid blemish was brewing. She had slapped him!  
  
"Don't you ever say something so bold or I swear next time-"  
  
"Lily, just please," His voice was more silkier then the wind," I just want to know if any names were said, that's all."  
  
His eyes were more sincere then she'd ever seen them. They stood gallant against her jade gaze.  
  
"No, no names were said. Why do you ask?"  
  
He shook his head slightly.  
  
"Just curious, just curious."  
  
And once more, he settled himself back down in his seat and began to stare distractedly out at the cow fields that had emerged from behind the long black forest.  
  
Lily simply began to twirl her finger between her cardinal red hair, a nervous habit she had developed as a young girl. She didn't quite know why seeing James like this upset her so. It plainly did.  
  
She trotted heavyhearted into the corridor to begin her routine patrolling of the passageways. Without a second thought, she turned her eyes back upon James's dark figure.  
  
"What happened, James?" She whispered sorrowfully.  
  
"And why do I want to help you and comfort you, when I've despised you so."  
  
She bowed her head silently as tiny tears made blotches on the carpet. She had a knack for crying in times of high stress or frustration.  
  
"O why, James, why?"

* * *

Miao: that took forever to write!  
  
TheSeriousSide: -.-; You wrote a word a day, ignorant queen of fools.  
  
Miao: Yah, but dey were some BIG hoonken' words, y'know? ;;  
  
TheseriousSide: Oh yes, "The" and "A" are quite mammoth. By the way, you used that too much, as well.  
  
Miao: .. Toooo baaddddd!   
  
The Serious Side: What did I do in my past life to deserve such baneful after results!   
  
Miao: Ponder Betcha killed somebody! Cause y'know, you're always threatning me and things.  
  
The serious side: -.-; Fly away wretched beetle.  
  
Miao: Emmm, ;; How was it? Pwease tell me! Email me if yuh want I don't mind...And reviiewww!!  
  
The Serious side: . . .Twit. . .  
  
Miao: Thankies**! **


	2. Where the Anger Resigns

  
  
** -Where the Pale Moon Glows-  
Chapter Two:** **Where the Anger Resigns.  
By Miao.  
**  
  
Miao: Wow, I can't believe I posted that last chappie!  
  
Serious Side: -.-; Me neither, you spelled everything quite wrong...  
  
Miao: Oooo! Guess what! I have spell checker now! Wooooo! I should be better now   
  
Serious Side: Ooh please, you just suck at grammer.  
  
Miao: Do noott!   
  
Serious Side: Which do you say then, I am beautifuler or I am more beautiful.  
  
Miao: Niether Because preetier is much funnererer.  
  
Serious Side: -.- ... I hate you...  
  
Miao: REVIEWERSS! I WUV YOU WITH MY HEART, SOUL, Annd er...Whats the other one?  
  
Serious Side: Body.  
  
Miao: AND BODY!  
  
**J.E.A.R.K Potter**: Thank you I am updaten right nooow! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWNNN!  
  
**Paradox01**: Glad yuh think it's intresting. ;; James is supposed to be a bit spastic-y. I mean--Anybody wouldd!! After what Sniffle happened. You'll understand moore. , THANK YOU FOR REVIEWN!!  
  
**Tymeless-Moment**: Thank you! Hehe, good job! I would've never gotten it, you must have a high brain mass. Hopefully she will! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWNN**!  
  
Buggy-Such**: Of course she's blind! Most everybody would be. We read it and think "GEEZ! Woman! Can't you see what happened?" But we aren't there. Now, we have to think about the time frame. This is during the dark days of Voldemort and his victim's list is vast. This, is a typical article for them. Completely ordinary. There were probably about two of these a day. It isn't rare for a child to be killed; just the whole timing made it a bit different. Just a bit. To Lily, he just seemed curious.  
Now on to the whole thing about not wanting Lily to know. Boys are fickle. They have LARGE egos and try there best not to show ANY sign of weakness. Ever noticed how Boys don't cry as much as girls? I'm sure you have! They want to show NO SIGN OF WEAKNESS. Its like a decree for them. Now, James has lost his father and his little sister. To him, his sorrow is a weakness. If Lily found out about his sudden loss, she would bestow him with sympathy and the way boys minds work, he would think she thinks he's weak. Having lost a loved one is something not to boast about, and he feels that exactly. o Wooo that was long. I explained my many spelling mistakes. I really don't have time for an editor -.-; I play on three different soccer teams and I don't know how I update already!! Giving it to someone to edit would take a while and I don't like to cheat ya'll out of a chapter! THANKS FOR REVIEWNN!  
  
**Eowyn Jade**: Hehe Thanks FOR REVIEWNNN!!!!  
  
**Stephanieeee**: The compy ish fun. Yesha! Its dedicated to you! Hope you feel proud I think thats how you spell it I'm the last person who you need to ask. THANKS FOR REVIEWNN!  
  
**Child-Of-Scorpio**: Thank you . More insight on James in this chappie. THANKS FOR REVIEWNN!!  
  
**Me aka:Bhavi**: THANK YOU FOR REVIEWNN**!!  
  
DroppedRose**: Sugar ish good...'Specially with root beer. I understand your reasons, I am very happy you decided to review my one chappie though! Means alot!! THANKS FOR REVIEWNNNN!!  
  
**Cricketlover: **I'm glad you found one hehe thanks! -.-; Spelling is not my strong subject aswell as the fact I am the laziest lil fool you'll ever meet. I thought I was spelling it right...But, I really never use his name. Thanks for pointing it out though! THANK YOU FOR REVIEWNNN!  
  
**Reem**: Bwhahaha. I am lazy, here me roar. I'm glad you like the ending I wanted it to be as sappy as possible. LYLAS! THANKS FOR REVIEWNN, mY TwIN!! (Happy late birthday!)  
  
**Lady J **: I do infact talk to myself in real life. Its completely healthy! --I really just have two sides to me . Doesn't everybody? Oooh, I scare people. They just don't know it yet, that's all.THANK YOU FOR REVIEWNN!!  
  
Miao: Now heres the deal! . If you weren't there now, you will be next chappie!!  
  
The Serious Side: Why would you even care to review anyway? Why must you fuel this loony's fingers to write more on such horrid subjects such as this?  
  
Miao: . . . .My room looks funny when i'm upside down . . .  
  
Serious Side: -.-; Just start this chapter.  
  
Miao: OTaY! Enjooy!  
  
And a big big big big big thank you to Seven! She helped me a whole buch! Thank yuh Seven! This chappie ish dedicated to you! And Stephanie who just got back from Turkey. Hope you enjoyed yourself and brought me back a gift. If you didn't, there shall be bloodshed

* * *

  
  
Thick gray clouds restrained the glorious sun's radiance , as they adorned the already mucky sky. The dreadful rains had halted for the time being and the soggy England soil seemed to rejoice by sprouting several eager blossoms. But, with no warmth from the sun, they were fated to shrivel, their leaves crumple dryly, and be whisked away by the torrent of rains that would arrive the next day.  
  
The scarlet steam engine that had trudged nobly through out the downpour now was slowing down to a stop. The doors flung ajar and a mass of students poured out of the train. Lily had to clutch tightly to the railing of the entryway to keep from being lost among the crowd of her ornery peers.  
  
"Move it! I'm hungry!"  
  
"I want off this smelly train!  
  
"Get out of the way, I've got to go bad!"  
  
Her anger mounted up dangerously. She was head girl and she was letting these brainless children push her around? That just wasn't allowed.  
  
"**QUIET**!"  
  
Instantly, every mouth silenced and every eye turned upon her. She blushed profusely, and mumbled. "I-I didn't m-mean-er-"  
  
"Lily is right, everyone shut up and get in order. First years wait for Hagrid by the lamppost. Everyone else, straighten up and _obediently_ leave the train." James said, with an unusual cool air about him. He scowled much unlike himself and the children, still grumbling, exited the train. He was never one to yell firmly and be stern with responsibility, but somehow he managed it well. The strict red-head was preparing to leave as well though a whisper glued her to her spot.  
  
"Is that him?"  
  
"Yeah, poor guy. Wonder why he even came back."  
  
"I would've stayed home with my mum. We sent him a charmed fruit basket though.Sings 'Danny Boy' and all. Hope that cheers them up a bit."  
  
Lily spun around to find two Gryfindor girls gawking at James with large eyes sparkling with sympathy. What had they meant by--?  
  
"You two move along." James suddenly declared shooing them away. "Well, you haven't even made it up to the castle yet and you've already had to yell. Tsk Tsk, Lily."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes sardonically, "Hardy har-har."  
  
"Come lets get a carriage." He clutched wildly at her wrist and began to pull her along. Though it was a chaste grasp, Lily still blushed vivid pink when chill bumps swam up unto her neck. All the air in her lungs suddenly seemed entrapped inside her stomach, which authored a slightly dazed feeling. Lily complied silently until her thinking became rational once more. James Potter had grabbed her hand without even asking first. The little--  
  
"Here lets get this one." The raven-haired boy requested before she could find a voice to protest. He held open the door to the horseless carriage and gestured for her to get in. "Go on, lady's first."  
  
Scowling at his obvious attempt at manners, she climbed into the rickety carriage. Though it swayed and rocked ominously below her unstable feet and she suddenly slipped. But two hearty hands clamped upon her waist rescuing her from the ground below.  
  
"That'd be one nasty fall."  
  
_That James Potter! I swear—I don't need his help_!  
  
"I don't need your help, Potter. I can get into a carriage just fi- "  
  
He released his tight grip and she went spiraling to the ground below.  
  
"Suit yourself," he said, clambering inside and sitting wordlessly unto the cushioned seats.  
  
Her enmity growing severely, she stood up, rubbing vigorously at her backside, and entered the carriage, scowling worse then ever.  
  
The sorting ceremony followed its typical routine with Professor McGonagall, clad in her usual array of sweeping emerald robes void of even the slightest wrinkle, led a tight knit bundle of anxious first years. The only difference was a small girl with bright bubble-gum pink hair tied into sloppy pigtails. She was earning an assortment of odd looks.  
  
Lily sighed, resting her chin in her palm. _Always an oddball in the bunch, _she thought carelessly_. Speaking of oddballs...  
  
_ She found her addled gaze had reformed upon a certain bespectacled boy. Through those thick round glasses two dismal gray eyes watched the ceremony without even the slightest interest. His mind seemed so far away from Hogwarts, though his body was sitting there slumped over itself. He'd been acting so suspicious...and she didn't have a clue as to what could even be the author to his solemn disposition.  
  
It was until Sevana Bones, a friend of hers, pointed out that her elbow was buried deep in a bowl of mash potatoes did she even recognize the sorting had ended.  
  
"Lily you're acting kind of off, are you okay?" Sevana questioned gingerly, scooping a heap of the soiled mash potatoes and piling it upon her already weighted plate.  
  
"Yeah, just—Got my mind on other things."   
  
_If I don't know, maybe Sevena might_.   
  
"Hey Sevana, you wouldn't happen to know what was wrong with James, would you?"  
  
"James Potter?"  
  
"Yes, him."  
  
"Goodness—Don't you know?"  
  
Lily sighed, feeling as though she already had this conversation.  
  
"Okay, what don't I know?"  
  
"I can't believe you don't know! My mum told me the instant it happened. 'Said it was a nasty mess, it was. Gave her chills just— "  
  
Lily's eyes widened and she began to speak more urgently. "What nasty mess? What gave her chills?"  
  
Sevana was treating this as if it was a normal conversation topic and hadn't even snagged a look up from her plate. Clearly, whatever this 'nasty mess' was, it had been chattered about so much that it wasn't really all that exciting and entertaining anymore, like a dry orange squeezed of all its sweet nectar.  
  
"Pass the kidney beans and I'll tell you. Ah, cheers. Well, over the summer James's—"  
  
"Miss. Evans, could I please have a word with you?" A severe voice loomed overhead compelling her to absent-mindedly knock over her pumpkin juice, which made a small orange lake that seeped through the milky tablecloth.  
  
"Er—Yes, of course." She said, her heart sinking horribly. She rose from behind the table and followed the owner of the strict voice, Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore would like to talk to you about a special task he believes only you can complete." She said, strolling forward through the barren, dim-lighted corridors. Faintly, Lily heard her heartbeat thudding faster somewhere in her chest. Dumbledore wanted to speak to her about a special task? She felt somewhere in her numb limbs a swell of pride splash over her and make her a bit more courageous. Any aggravated thoughts of James Potter and his well-hidden secret were whisked away and lost somewhere in the spirals and shadows of the dark.  
  
"Here we are." Professor McGonagall halted in front of an ominous stone gargoyle and muttered something that sounded like, "Fizzling Shoe-Pops."  
  
The gargoyle instantly sprang to life and a mobile staircase carted a nervous but prideful Lily to the landing above. She had been in Dumbledore's exquisite office twice before, but it always seemed to get more and more interesting. The hundreds of small silver trinkets that clicked and snorted dazzled her. They seemed to glisten brighter in the pale candlelight tonight, though.  
  
"Ah, Lily. Please have a seat." Professor Dumbledore greeted, with a gentle smile. She plopped down in front of him and shot him a quizzical glance.  
  
"Ah, yes, you're wondering what it might be that I'm about to ask you to do. Before I confine in you, I must ask you to please keep a level head and when I am done, you may shout and protest as much as you wish." He had an odd twinkle in his soft blue eyes as Lily hesitantly nodded. _This can't be good_...  
  
"Well, you see, given recent events, I would like you to mentor to a student."  
  
_Well, that's not to bad...  
  
_ "Who's the student, professor?"  
  
"James Potter."  
  
_...But that is_.  
  
Lily's mouth dropped suddenly and she had to bottle her anger by clenching her hands together until her knuckles were white.  
  
"P-Potter? You can't be serious sir! He doesn't need mentoring! He's fine as he is." Lily quickly contended. Her? Mentor James Potter? The same James Potter that charmed her fingernails to talk on their own accord and ensure her detention? The same James Potter that had cursed her shampoo to dye her hair jungle green and wiggle on its own, like thousands of tiny snakes? That James Potter?  
  
"Lily," He fixed her with a pensive stare. "I know you haven't got along well with him in the past. Though he needs someone to listen to him more then anything and I believe you're the only one who can provide such an ear. He needs your kindness, Lily. He needs your friendship. Put aside these silly differences and-"  
  
"Silly differences?!" Lily suddenly hollered, towering up from behind her seat. "Sir! He converted my three-page essay on the goblin revolts into a picture book! He then conjured my arms into meaty Jell-O and I was in the hospital wing for three days and by then he had turned all the words in my textbooks backwards!"  
  
"Indeed," His silvery mustache twitched, "silly differences."  
  
She collapsed back into her chair. Either way, she'd have to mentor him. If Dumbledore requested it, then it would have to be done. He was the all-powerful wizard after all and there were even rumors he was to be the next Minister of Magic. And, of course, she held a leadership possession.  
  
"When do you want me to start?" She croaked hopelessly.  
  
"Good girl! Anytime James can I suppose. Thank you very much Lily and who knows, you may benefit from this as well."  
  
The confusion from before suddenly leaked back into her mind. "Sir, what am I exactly mentoring him for?"  
  
Dumbledore rested his gaze on his laced fingers and seemed to ponder for a moment. "I believe I'm not the one to tell you that. That's between James and you now, Lily. I have faith in you."  
  
Feeling rather proud, she got up from the chair and began to leave the odd but quaint office. Though Dumbledore's soft and slightly amused voice trailed behind her.  
  
"Oh and Lily. When you are mentoring to James, would mind to keep your voice down? Your peers like I would enjoy a placid night of rest without the interruptions of yours and James's hollers."  
  
Blushing, she nodded and left noiselessly.  
  
"_Damnit Dumbledore_!" She shrieked in the deserted corridors causing the low burning torches to flicker.  
  
"I don't understand what you want me to do! Mentoring to James is like trying to carry on a conversation with a dung beetle, which I would gladly do if it were the exception to this!"  
  
She would have continued on for hours on end, for she had a lot to say on the blasted subject, though she distinctly heard muffled cries rippling through the corridor. Moments later she stumbled upon an odd sight that froze her to the floor.  
  
"Why its just Lily-kins we heard yelling her bloody head off in the halls. We thought it was an emergency of sorts, oh well, back to business."  
  
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew all stood wands poised at a-a- _Clown plastered to the stonewall?  
_  
"Well what do you think of Sevvy? Enjoy his new makeover? Hope you don't mind, we borrowed some of your makeup."  
  
Upon closer observation, Severus Snape's rather sharp and definite facial features could just be made out under the piles of pale white makeup. His lips were a cheery red as were his cheeks and his nose was a small round ball. His hair was a glossy orange that was frizzy and quite curly. He was adorned in pink pok-a-dotted robes. Lily seriously thanked the heavens above that he was unconscious.  
  
"W-What have you done to him?" She asked, torn between suppressed laughter and broken rage.  
  
"Well, he thought he was so _hilariously _funny when he made that crack about James's family." Remus said darkly.  
  
"So, we just sat him down and concluded on declaring to him that things such as those were definitely not funny and tend to make James's maniacal and violent friends quite unhappy." Sirius said.  
  
"But he didn't take it well, did he?" Chimed Peter, bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement.  
  
"He sure didn't wormtail. So we found ourselves in some sort of predicament." Lupin said, grinning.  
  
"How to show Severus to be funny."  
  
"And here you see his attempt. When he wakes up, we should really congratulate him on this wonderful stunt. Got us laughing, alright."  
  
After a good twenty minutes of continuous shouting and forty lost house points, Lily finally compromised with the Marauders. If they took him down from the wall she would allow them to leave him sprawled in the hall on display.  
  
"And remember I never came by." Lily declared firmly.  
  
"Right you are! Thank you dear sweet Lily-kins!" They bowed seemingly like proud house-elves.  
  
Lily strolled through the dim desolate corridors, her mind intertwining with the whirling shadows around her. There was just too much in her head to think now. So instead of attempting to fill her mind with bobbling questions and non-existent answers, she just let the darkness conquer her exhausted mind. The twisting shadows seemed almost alive as they moved and shifted in the waxen moonlight that made soft ponds on the rigid stone floor. She sped up a bit.  
  
The portrait of the fat-lady had always been a magnificent painting. The fine brush strokes were ambiguous and it seemed as if no one had even touched a brush to accomplish this fine masterpiece. The only flaw in this beauty was that it talked.  
  
"Password?" She asked pompously.  
  
"_Wild Banshee_."  
  
The fat-lady opened and she climbed through the portrait whole. She straightened up and surveyed the room. It seemed everyone had already gone to bed. The last embers of the grand firepalce were kindling on their last lives and wrestling with the soot to keep their flaxen light visible. Intent on sitting in her favorite chair, she moved forward to where the couches were in sight.  
  
Instantly, she stole a step back. There, sitting in the last seat, looking as if he was deeply immersed in his own agonizing thoughts, James Potter sat.  
  
"James?" Lily asked softly.  
  
He jumped slightly and turned his head, which was plastered with a very fake smile. "Lily, how nice to see you. What are you doing up so late?"  
  
"I should ask you the same thing, James." She replied quietly.  
  
He seemed so solemn and glum, even the aura about him was one of despair. Lily found that she could barely talk above a whisper around him, feeling as though she was at a funereal.  
  
Trying to be as friendly as possible, though she seriously wondered why she'd want to be, she sat on the couch adjacent to him grinning warmly.  
  
"Well I've got some news for you. By order of Dumbledore, I'm to mentor to you."  
  
"What?!" James yelled, springing up from his seat and ogling Lily with frightened surprise.  
  
"Yes, I know. I don't even understand why." She said offhandedly. "I mean you have been acting pretty...Nice you know? Its odd for you."  
  
"W-Why is he doing this? I can take care of myself." He whispered.  
  
"Oh come on! Whatever happened apparently he thinks you need help with it and since we are Head Boy and Girl, we're supposed to help one another. So tell me what's wrong already!" She conveyed.  
  
"I'm not telling you." He said simply almost like a child refusing to tell where he had hid his mother's shoes.  
  
"Fine," She huffed. "I'll just find out from somebody else, then. Sevana knew and it seems all your cronies do too. One of them is bound to tell me..."  
  
"A-Alright," he croaked.  
  
Lily edged forward and gazed earnestly into his cheerless downcast eyes.  
  
"W-Well, you remember on the train when you read that article."  
  
"The bathing habits of the garden gnomes?"  
  
James put his head in his hands in annoyance, "No! You-Know-Who and his latest victims."  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"You remember that I asked if there were any names mentioned?"  
  
"Yes but I don't-"  
  
"Would you like to know their names?"  
  
"Okay sure but how do you-"  
  
"Sara and John Potter."  
  
Lily's eyes widened, horrified at the realization. "Y-You mean your—"  
  
James nodded slowly. "My dad and little sister."  
  
They sat in complete silence; a silence that shattered every struggling thought in Lily's head. For the first time in her entire life, she didn't have an answer.  
  
"S-So, do you want to t-talk about it?" Those were the only words that seemed to exist at the moment in her mind.  
  
"Not right now Lily, I'm a bit tired." He declared rather insolently. He began to ascend the stairs when her temper bolted to life.  
  
"Well if your not going to talk about it, then how do you expect to get better?"  
  
"_I am fine_, thank you _very_ much."  
  
"No you're not! You're sulking about like a sad puppy! At least let me help you!"  
  
"I don't know why Dumbledore assigned you to me in the first place because I don't need your help!"  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Yeah really!"  
  
"You do too."  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"Do too!"  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"_Panagelia_!"  
  
Instantly, James's arms began to wobble and looked as though they took the form of two long strips of fleshy Jell-O. He glared daggers at her and brought out his own wand. The duel had begun.  
  
"_Poliosa_!"  
  
"_Protego_!"  
  
"_Petrificus Totalus_!"  
  
"_Protego_!"  
  
"_Protego_!"  
  
**THUD.  
**  
  
It seemed using the shielding charm twice with the same curse didn't carry the same affects as it normally would with just using it once. Instead of being shielded, both Lily and James seemed to have been pelted by the same spell that ricocheted off their protective shields. Both fell to the floor with a sickly thud and were left there all night in the dim commen room to wallow in their anger.

* * *

Miao: Woooo! I am dooone with this chapter!  
  
The Serious side: -.-;  
  
Miao: ;; Sowie to keep ya'll waiting! I've had a lot to do!  
  
The Serious Side: Like sit on the couch and sleep until 4:00 in the day?  
  
Miao: . Exactly! Please review if you can   
  
The Serious Side: -.-; Good bye.  
  
Miao: Buh byee!   
  
(Miao) 


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